Recent pictures of Lily

Here are some recent pics of Miss Lillian. Gosh, I can't believe how big she is getting. My baby girl is going to be 2 in May. I am sad, but happy all at the same time. She is starting to use a lot more sentences when she talks. Which I absolutely love!!! She is pretty good at shapes and numbers. She can tell you which each animal is and what sound they make. Lily loves Mickey Mouse, Dora, Handy Manny, and Spongebob Square pants(which I won't let her watch very much of him). She loves going outside and just playing in the dirt and rocks. The last few months Lily has been really good at saying our dinner prayer and at church, you can hear her say, "Amen" after the prayers. Melts mommy's heart to hear that. Lily is getting more clear in saying, "I luv you mom." That never gets old to hear. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the pictures.

If you don't mind, please say a prayer for me. There are two big things coming up that I am hoping goes good for me. I don't want to say what it is just let, but just think about me!

My worst week of my life.......

I really wish I was being dramatic. However, I don't think I am. This post will be very hard for me so just bare with me....



Wednesday, March 2nd, I found out that I was pregnant. However, a millon bad things popped into my head. The week before, I had got my period on time and a very heavy period to be exact. Then Wednesday March 2nd, I started spotting, which was kind of weird for me, so I took a pregnancy test. I honestly wasn't expecting a positive result due to me already having a period, but I was shocked to say the least that it was indeed positive. In my mind, I knew something wasn't right, but John was already excited. On Thursday, I called the doctor's office and explained to the nurse what was going on. She wanted me to get to the hospital immediately for lab work. So, Lily and I went to Memorial Hospital as fast as I could get there. We did lab work and waited in Jasper for 2 hrs like she asked me to. Well, I got the news that everyone dreads. I was indeed pregnant, but my progesterone level was too low to substain pregnancy and if I hadn't already done it, then miscarriage was coming. Dr. Beckman called it a chemical pregnancy. My body got ready for pregnancy but the fertilized egg never implanted. He thinks that my body had already expelled the tissue with my period. I was devastated to say the least. Deep down I knew it was coming, but was hoping for the best. I quickly drove myself to John's work and brokedown there. John took me and Lily home. I was a wreck. The next day, I had to get a crown put on my tooth and then I had to go back to Jasper to get more lab work done. The results were clear, I was in the process of having a miscarriage. My levels were dropping even more. Saturday, I decided that there wasn't anything I could do and needed to go to work to get my mind off of things. Not really a good idea on my part. I was able to finish the 12 hr shift, but the whole time I was there I was bleeding....BAD!!! Sunday, I worked for 4 hrs while another nurse came in to relieve me for the rest of the shift (Thank you Wes!). Again, the day was about the same as Saturday. I felt very weak and drained. I think my hemoglobin levels (blood count) is low. It's so hard for people to understand the affects this does to your body both physical and mentally. I have been on a rollercoster of emotions for the past 7 days now. However, this is just something that takes time to heal. I am doing better. I can say the word miscarriage without crying now, so that is good. One step at a time......



If you don't mind just say a prayer for me and my family while we are going through this!