John and I go from a couple to a family

This post will probably be long. I haven't been on here in awhile. As you may know by now, Lillian has arrived!!!! I was scheduled for a c-section at 4pm on May 8th. However, that morning, the hospital called and said that they were ahead of schedule and wanted me to come in earlier. So, John and I quickly got everything together. I was at the hospital at 11:30am and was prepped and in surgery by 12:30pm. That whole process is a blur to me now. Anyway, at 1:00pm Lillian Mae was born. She weighed 8lbs 11 oz and 21 inches long.

She came out screaming!!!! As soon as I heard that scream, I just started crying. After nine months of worrying, she was finally here and healthy! I got to see my baby girl, but I didn't get to hold her.

They took her to the nursery, while I was sent to recovery. When I got to recovery and my vital signs were at baseline, I got to see and hold my precious baby girl! I was just so amazed by her. It's so hard to describe the feelings/thoughts that were runny through my head.

I was finally taken to my room. As the nurses were taking me, I got to hear the lullaby play in honor of Lillian's birth. It was so awesome to know that lullaby was playing for Lillian!!! When I got to my room, I was hooked up to a monitor (which I was quickly annoyed by) and an IV. I was not loving the fact that I was pretty much trapped in my bed. However, my legs were still numb, so where was I going???!!!

John and I were greeted by our best friends from Illinois, Adam and Rae. They were so excited (almost more than John and I) about Lillian's birth. They couldn't wait to get their hands on her! What can I say.....she's a cutie!

Anyway, that night was probably one of the longest nights of my life. John and I were trying to adjust to being parents and I couldn't physically get out of bed to help take care of Lillian. John did such an amazing job with her. You could already tell that she had him wrapped around her finger!

The next day, we were so tired. I finally got disconnected to everything and was finally able to get into the shower. I felt a lot better after that. Then, we had so many visitors. We were so grateful for everyone coming to visit. Lillian, especially loved it. This little girl LOVES to be held.

Everything was going fine, until the end of the second day. I just started to have a meltdown. Lillian kept screaming. I was trying everything I knew how to get her to stop. I knew deep down that she was still hungry. I was breastfeeding and my milk hadn't came in yet. It was pretty much a site to see at that point.....my 2 day old baby screaming while mommy crying uncontrollably and poor John didn't know what to do. John had to call the nurse in to help in the situation. At that point, I was done with breastfeeding. I wanted a bottle with formula to give to my baby. Both John and the nurse talked me out of it. They told me to keep trying.

The next day was a little bit better. Lillian was still fussy, but nothing like she was. I was feeding her almost every hour. The pediatrician didn't seem to concern about anything that was going on. Lillian's weight went from 8lbs 11oz from birth to 7lbs 13 oz. I was a nervous wreck, but I still got discharge orders for both of us. I kept thinking to myself, "if I could just get home, things would get better." When we got home, it started out great. Lillian was eating and she wasn't fussy at all. She was resting well. I didn't seem to be as nervous. However, that all changed that night. She cried from 10pm-5:30am non-stop in a high pitch scream. John and I did everything we could to try to calm her down. There was a point she wasn't going to eat at all.

So, at 8am, I was on the phone with the nurse for Dr. Bies. I told her what was going on, and she quickly scheduled me an appt for that afternoon. John and I took Lillian to the doctor. Her weight was 7lbs 9oz. I was in tears. John and I talked before we went to the doctor. We (probably more me) decided that if her weight dropped again, that we would start her on formula. So, Dr. Bies came in and we talked to him about our concerns. He first told me to do some supplement feedings along with breastfeeding. Again, I started crying. I told him that I just couldn't do it anymore. My milk wasn't in and my baby girl was starving. I wanted what was best for her and breastfeeding wasn't it. He started giving me a lecture on the benefits of breastfeeding and benefits of formula and on and on he went until John told him I was a nurse. You get a lot more respect from doctors when you tell them you are a nurse :) Anyway, we started her on formula. Dr. Bies wanted to see us again the next day for a weight check. So, the next day, we went back and her weight was 7lbs 13 oz. Yea!!! She gained 4 oz overnight! My little girl was so content. Mommy and Daddy were so happy! We go back next week for another weight check!

I just have to say, being a mom is the hardest and best job there is. I love to see all the new things Lillian is going to do and experience. Oh! I just have to brag on John! He is the greatest dad in the world. He loves his baby girl so much! When he is around, I barely get a chance to hold Lillian b/c he won't let her out his site. It's very cute to see him around her. Plus, he is still the greatest husband as well. He always makes sure that "his girls" are happy! He is absolutely the best!

My sister got married yesterday. I really wish I could have been there to see everything. Hopefully, my family took a bunch of pictures so I can see what everything looked like. Anyway, I am very happy for my sister. I wish her and Ryan a lifetime of happiness.

May 8, 2009

May 8, 2009 sounds like a good day for a birthday!!! Lillian's birthday anyway. Yes, she will be here tomorrow!!!

I went to the doctor today for my 39 week check up. My blood pressure was 124/60. I gained 2 lbs for a grand total of 26 lbs. No protein in my urine. Lillian's heart rate was in the 150s. My fundus measured 43 cm. Yes, 2 more cm than last week. Dr. Beckman eyes got huge! He said, we are doing an ultrasound today. I'm alright with that. Then, he checked my cervix. I am 3 cm dilated. I was so thankful for that!

Anyway, I had my ultrasound. Lillian's head and legs were measuring right on schedule. However, her poor belly was measuring 41 wks and 6 days. The ultrasound weighed her in at 9 lbs and 3 oz. The ultrasound tech immediately said, "honey, this baby is coming out." So, I had to wait for about 30 minutes to talk to Dr. Beckman again. He ran acrossed the street to the hospital to assist in a c-section. So, I waited for him. When he came back and looked at my results. He just started laughing. We knew she was going to be a big baby, but not really thinking that big. So, we started discussing my options. Poor Dr. Beckman....I knew what he wanted me to do, but he was too afraid to just say it. I think he has been yelled at a time or two. He kept talking and finally I just stopped him and told him that I wanted a c-section. He started smiling and said....good, that is the right thing to do. So, my c-section is scheduled for tomorrow at 4pm. I can not wait to see her!!

Please say a little prayer for both Lillian and I!!

Interesting couple of weeks

First, there is no baby yet. My last doctor's appointment on Thursday was very disappointing. I had not progressed any. I was so upset. I cried all the way home. All last week, all I did was walk, I was so active around the house (my house has never been cleaner), I have done all those things that is supposed to induce labor. Yeah, right....done of those things work. Last week, I was just starting to become miserable. It just hit me all of a sudden too. I was doing fine until last Tuesday. Anyway, to make a long story short....no baby yet. So, I decided to go back to work on Friday since there was no progress. Friday was absolutely the worst day. To be honest, work was not bad, but I was hurting so bad. Not really contractions, but I had the worst back pain in the world. The pain was radiating down my legs, I had so much pressure in my pelvic area too. I had the hardest time walking. I don't know if she was just on a nerve or how she was laying, but I seriously thought I was going to die. I thought numerous times to call the OB unit and talk to one of the nurses there. However, I didn't want to bother them b/c they were calling us for help....so I knew they were busy. Anyway, Friday night, I didn't sleep at all. I was still having that pain. Then Saturday the pain was gone when I woke up, but came back towards the end of the night. Sunday, I was supposed to work, but I was put on call (I was so happy that they did b/c I lost the rest of my mucous plug and I was really tired). Now I am on Maternity leave....I am not going back this time. So, now I am waiting on Miss Lillian to come.

Anyway, at my last doctor's appointment, the doctor pretty much gave me a lecture on evidence based practice on how inducing labor to a first time moms is not healthy for mom or baby.......pretty much all I heard was blah, blah, blah. I really didn't care at that point. I was too upset. All I know is that I'm going to have a big baby and more than likely she will be delivered via c-section. Again, that is fine, but let's schedule the thing then. Right now, I'm an emotional wreck. See, my older sister is getting married May 16th in Seattle, WA. First, I'm upset b/c I can't go see my sister get married....I won't be able to be in any of the family photos and I won't get to see anything in person. That upsets me. Then, the doctor does not plan on doing anything until after I pass my due date, which is Sunday, May 10th. Fine, if I get a c-section they won't schedule it until May 14th or May 15th, which all of my family will be in Seattle. That makes me so so upset. I want my family there or at least on their way when I have my baby. So, you can see I'm just an emotional wreck.

I'm keeping in mind that my mom gave birth to all of her children on her due date. Which is actually pretty impressive. My sister gave birth to my nephew 2 days before her due date. So, I am just holding out....thinking maybe this is a family thing.....we all have our children really close to our due dates. Wishful thinking anyway.

My next appointment is this Thursday. Hopefully, I won't even make it to then. However, if I do, I really hope I hear some good news that I am progressing. I keep telling everyone to think good thoughts for me!! I'll post some pics of my huge belly soon.