I really wish I was being dramatic. However, I don't think I am. This post will be very hard for me so just bare with me....
Wednesday, March 2nd, I found out that I was pregnant. However, a millon bad things popped into my head. The week before, I had got my period on time and a very heavy period to be exact. Then Wednesday March 2nd, I started spotting, which was kind of weird for me, so I took a pregnancy test. I honestly wasn't expecting a positive result due to me already having a period, but I was shocked to say the least that it was indeed positive. In my mind, I knew something wasn't right, but John was already excited. On Thursday, I called the doctor's office and explained to the nurse what was going on. She wanted me to get to the hospital immediately for lab work. So, Lily and I went to Memorial Hospital as fast as I could get there. We did lab work and waited in Jasper for 2 hrs like she asked me to. Well, I got the news that everyone dreads. I was indeed pregnant, but my progesterone level was too low to substain pregnancy and if I hadn't already done it, then miscarriage was coming. Dr. Beckman called it a chemical pregnancy. My body got ready for pregnancy but the fertilized egg never implanted. He thinks that my body had already expelled the tissue with my period. I was devastated to say the least. Deep down I knew it was coming, but was hoping for the best. I quickly drove myself to John's work and brokedown there. John took me and Lily home. I was a wreck. The next day, I had to get a crown put on my tooth and then I had to go back to Jasper to get more lab work done. The results were clear, I was in the process of having a miscarriage. My levels were dropping even more. Saturday, I decided that there wasn't anything I could do and needed to go to work to get my mind off of things. Not really a good idea on my part. I was able to finish the 12 hr shift, but the whole time I was there I was bleeding....BAD!!! Sunday, I worked for 4 hrs while another nurse came in to relieve me for the rest of the shift (Thank you Wes!). Again, the day was about the same as Saturday. I felt very weak and drained. I think my hemoglobin levels (blood count) is low. It's so hard for people to understand the affects this does to your body both physical and mentally. I have been on a rollercoster of emotions for the past 7 days now. However, this is just something that takes time to heal. I am doing better. I can say the word miscarriage without crying now, so that is good. One step at a time......
If you don't mind just say a prayer for me and my family while we are going through this!
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